Solo, But Never Alone
So many have been praying for me that I want to take a pause to let everyone know how I am doing and what's happening with me. First let me say that I am well and happy. It’s hard to believe that Father completely prepared me for what has transpired in 2007, (although I certainly did not know what I was being prepared for), but it was his plan I am sure. My trip across the states was wondrous and many of the gatherings were memorials to Stacy. How wonderful as we remembered all the good things about Stacy and even the prophecies that he had given, many which have already been fulfilled. Many recalled his “Ha Ha Ha” and all spoke of his willingness to give freely the knowledge that Father had put in him. Friends were sharing memories over a cup of coffee. Thank you Stacy, you truly have been a positive influence in our lives and have given us much to smile about.
I made it to Lakeport, California without incident and with a grateful heart. My Dodge Grand Caravan ran well and I encountered very little rough weather or traffic. Mom and Dad were so glad to have me home that it made my heart rejoice in my decision to return to my roots in Lake County. I am most amazed at how fast the 4,800 mile road trip went for me and I found that although there were no physical bodies in the car with me, I never felt alone.
My decision to leave Georgia and head home to California was not an easy one because of our good friends in Blue Ridge. Not to mention that Stacy’s brother Doug and his wife, Esther, had moved to Georgia to be close to us and I had developed a very dear family relationship with them. I was making the decision to leave the last place where I had physical contact with Stacy and this was extremely difficult for me.
The last move from California, three years’ prior, had cost us almost $4,000.00 and our little red barn was filled to the top with everything it takes to live and to run Promised Seed Ministries. Our main office, downstairs, held two desktop computers, five printers and many books. The second floor was home to all our mailing and office supplies, cassettes, packaging envelopes, recording equipment and a guest bedroom. I decided that it would cost less to start over than to ship all this stuff out to California and then store it until I could find a big enough home. The choices were difficult as I left many of the articles that held memories behind me. We packed everything that would fit into my Dodge, which suddenly became very small, and I set off on my first solo journey across the U.S.A.
After Stacy so suddenly left this physical realm I had to make some decisions on what I wanted to do with the “middle-age” part of my life. First and foremost, I knew I wanted to continue with Promised Seed Ministries. It brought me great happiness knowing that Stacy had prepared me for carrying on in the ministry. He did not allow me to sit on my ‘laurels’ but insisted that I learn all the facets including writing, teaching, web mastering and even driving to the gatherings. I also knew I wanted to live close to my parents. My first thought was to make a ‘beeline’ home and find a place to start over, but I heard my Fathers voice so softly tell me that this would be a good opportunity to share solo as I crossed the states. He also told me that there were folks who needed to hear what I was learning about Stacy’s physical death and eternal life. It stood to reason that I should stop for a visit with our children on the way to California although it would turn a two-week trip into a month long journey. Stacy IV, Amy and Jana called me every day for two weeks after Stacy’s passing, just to check up on me and tell me how much they appreciated and loved me. I knew that my presence could bring them comfort, for I could talk long about their Dad and all the wonderful things he had accomplished. They also felt their children needed to hear about their Grandpa and his years of ministry. Many people called during those first weeks and I was not off the phone for more than 15 minutes at a time. Moreover, the Internet required many long hours for me to be able to do the web-work that Stacy had excelled at, but all of this helped me make the transition into widowhood.
So, I started on my journey. My first stop was with Becky Britton Volz. Becky has been keeping Bill Britton’s, (her Dad), teachings available. She’s had quite a struggle because her Mom’s health requires constant attention but she is the only one working in the office. It is her hope to transcribe her Dad’s audio teachings into writings, but I can tell you from experience that this is quite an undertaking. Stacy had many of his audio teachings transcribed by our good friend Norita Smith, but even when the writing is available, to take it from the spoken word and turn it into an understandable writing is quite a lengthy feat. Bill was a father in the ministry and Stacy and I hold Bill and Becky in very high regard. If it is your desire to help keep Bill’s teachings available, you can contact Becky by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Finally I arrived at Omaha, Nebraska to spend time with the kids and grand children. Praise the Lord, what a wonderful time of fellowship with all of them! I am so blessed to be welcomed into their families. Stacy and Amy have invited me to live with them and Jeff and Jana have given me a key to their home with an open invitation. My time flew by as I spent alternate days and nights with each family. We laughed and cried and shared fond memories of their Dad. I am so excited to be the one to bring the soothing balm of healing which I witnessed beginning to take place in their hearts. I even spent a little time with Sheri and for those who know Sheri, she sends her love and best wishes. I can’t wait to go back and spend more time with them all. Grandchildren grow up so fast and I want them all to know how truly wonderful their grandpa’s life was on this earth. I also want them to know that Promised Seed Ministries is a family ministry and they are all invited to be a part of it as the Lord leads. Our oldest grand daughter, Leandra (now 19), has expressed a desire to travel with me in the ministry perhaps as early as next year! My younger grand children have also expressed a desire to travel with me when they get older. In my heart I feel like this is another reason I want to keep Promised Seed Ministries alive, so the children and grand children will have a place to start in the ministry and I am excited to see this possibility opening up. After nine wonderful days with them I started back on the road.
It was just a few hours drive to Kansas and I was truly blessed by spending three days and two nights with my sister, Terrie, at a friend’s home in Topeka. I want to share the miracles that happened while at the home of Ron & Jan Ash. Something I have learned about miracles is that they come in all shapes and sizes and it is important that we accept the miracle as it happens no matter how big or small. The weekend started with the healing power of God that Terrie & I experienced when Jan gave me an “energy-massage.” First let me say that Jan was very hesitant in offering the massage because she did not want us to think it was something “new-age.” I assured her that I believe in the power of touch and as she started the massage, my sister said she could see an iridescent aura around Jan. This was the first miracle, because my sister needed to be assured that Jan and Ron were chosen by God. The next morning when we begin to share about son ship that I was to witness another miracle. Terrie, who had never heard all that we were sharing was overwhelmed and Jan and Ron gently assured her that I wasn’t off the deep end in my belief. What could have been a bad experience turned into healing and acceptance and Terrie told me she wanted to come into the ministry with me. We are going to live together and she will be a great support and help to me. I foresee that she also will teach and write as Father gives wisdom and knowledge and she feels to do so. Even more happened before my departure but I will leave that for another time or for Terrie to share. You will love her, she is a beautiful spirit-filled woman of God who has all her life wanted to serve him with the fullness of her whole being. That desire is being fulfilled before my eyes. Thank you Father.
Next I’m off to Desoto, Texas to visit with Jack and Emily Coughlin. As I drove, I thought back on how we had stayed with them during one of Stacy’s very sick times and the blessing it was for us when Emily bought Stacy a pair of tennis shoes to fit his feet which were swollen because of fluid retention. Their love for us has always been apparent and I could not wait to get to Texas to fellowship them. I was not disappointed and they wrapped me in their love. Emily took me out for a new hairdo and I got a nice trim and “low-lights” to help cover some of the gray. It must have knocked five years off my looks!
My next stop was Midland. Texas with Jessie and Dianne Price. What an incredible gathering! The fellowship was exactly as Father had made known to me and we each had a wonderful time of sharing the fullness of the indwelling Christ. This was truly the first time where folks had been called together so I could teach. I love to share but I did not expect the gift of teaching that operated in Stacy to function the same in me. Many may have noticed that I always tried to be out of the center of attention when Stacy taught, this is because I would rather that people do not spend their time focused upon me. What truly amazed me is that Father had shown me that I would not have to be the center of attention but instead that as we gather all would contribute. This is exactly what happened and rather than putting all the chairs in rows facing forward as toward a speaker, we put the chairs in a circle and Dianne began to share. When my turn came, I tried to communicate what Father had put in my heart after Stacy’s passing, which came from 1Cor. 15 and I felt it was well received. Jessie and Dianne have a wonderful gift of hospitality and I so appreciated my stay with them.
Now just a hop, skip and a jump to Hobbs, New Mexico and I must confess my heart began beating faster as I got closer to my home in California. Imah Jean and Charlie Wilson have been corresponding with us for years, I always appreciated the wonderful letters she sent along with the love gifts and I was looking forward to getting to know her personally. I was not disappointed! Imah Jean is a wonderful woman of God with a gift of communicating the Christ nature. We had two gatherings in two days and I met some dynamic women in Hobbs, (Mary and her daughters). I foresee the Lord doing wonderful things in the Hobbs area and expect to learn of good things occurring once this force of God determines to gather on a regular basis.
My next stop in Alamogordo, New Mexico was a privilege. Elwin and Margit Roach are such great teachers and so well known that I felt more than a little humbled when sharing at their regular gathering of saints. I wondered what I could possibly say that Elwin did not already know. But regardless of how bashful I felt, they were compassionate toward me and we had a wonderful time of fellowship with all sharing at one time or another. The next day the body came over to the Roach’s for a picnic that included elk meat. I love wild game and was so glad they sent some on the road with me the next day. Our time together was sweet and I felt Stacy’s presence and his great love for them. Stacy so prized Elwin’s participation in his life and considered him a close friend and a brother in the ministry.
It took me two days to drive to Alhambra, California and as each mile passed I enjoyed the fact that I was getting closer to home. I was also glad to get the chance to visit with my friend Laura who I have known for more than 20 years, (I was one of her bridesmaids and feel like an aunt to her two daughters). It is Laura who picks up our mail in Alhambra and deposits all love gifts. What a wonderful time with them and several others who wanted to fellowship.
Northward! Praise the Lord! My next stop was in Modesto, California with my good friends Ron and Ann Scilacci. I could hardly believe that the body in Modesto-Turlock region could gather on such short notice. All these folks are especially close to my heart because Stacy and I taught in this area on a weekly basis for two years when we lived in Greeley Hill next to Yosemite. I missed them greatly while we were away and needed to feel their embrace. What a great reunion and even better time of sharing! It is my hope to drive once a month to Modesto so we can fellowship on a more regular basis. The four-hour drive will be well worth the effort.
How wonderful when I drove into my parent’s yard! They came out to hug me and welcome me home and we cried and laughed and enjoyed each other’s presence. Now my mom says I can’t leave California and claims she has rigged my van so it will not take me past the state line! (My Mom is pretty sick right now and I would covet your continued prayers for her healing). It has always been my contention that grown children should not live long with their parents. Stacy always said that fish and guests stink after three days and that is why he did not want to have extended stays at any individual home. I have been home for almost two weeks and it has been wonderful. I really feel the demand to acquire my own home so I can have the space I need so I can set up my office. Currently it is necessary for me to drive to a local coffee shop in town to get my Email or do any work online. I trust Father has the right place for the PSM office and I pray he reveals it to me soon!
(I am having difficulty sending out email). I do want to say I am preparing my next Pause to share what Father has given me about 1Cor 15 and Stacy’s transition. Father is revealing some truths about incorruption and immortality which I know will strengthen the Body.
I love you and look forward to your cards, email, letters, and visits. My NEW cell phone number is (707) 972-1757 but my address stays the same for now, PO Box 4035, Alhambra, CA 91803-7035. Laura continues to forward all personal letters to me. I’ll be sure to include my new address the next “Pause.” Pamla
Correction: In an email last month I gave “The Pathfinder,” Elwin & Margit Roach, web-site address as www.godfire.com when in fact it is www.godfire.net, I am sorry about any awkwardness or unfruitfulness this might have caused.